We need contrasting experiences to help us determine what we really want, and what’s really important to us.
Take the situation of a failed or failing voice, for instance.
The voice is part of the body and can be aided with exercise and releasing of physical tension. Oh, and learning to coordinate airflow with vocal fold and resonator activity.
In other words, something can be done.
Often, because of lack of information and resources, people get into vocal trouble and immediately feel helpless. I think this is a good analogy for the world at large right now.
I don’t care what “challenges” life deals us, there is always a choice to see the “negative” as either a wake up call, or a call to action, or simply an indication of what is truly wanted. The strength of your reaction to a situation is more an indication of your desire (what you want) than anything else. So, if your voice is indicating something to you – maybe that you really love and cherish it and NEED it in order to be YOU in the world – don’t get too sad too quickly. At least not until you take a glance at the positive message it’s sending.
I’m pretty clear today that I want healing and health and wholeness. For you, your voice, and for the world.
“It’s important to talk about it.”
-My Dad. Yesterday.
Whatever the “it” is in your life, it deserves a voice. This especially applies to the roller coaster experience of grief.
By giving voice to our feelings, we can pass through them and move on to healing. But with grief, the feelings shift and change and tumble about – let’s face it, they are complicated. Fortunately, people like Elisabeth Kubler-Ross have given us a framework for understanding the different stages of grief.
I believe that when we understand something, we can find peace with it. And we can start using our voices to talk or sing about it.
Kubler-Ross’s 5 central stages of grief are:
But! Here’s the thing, y’all. These stages of grief are not linear, they do are not tidy, and they do not happen when we want them to.
Today marks 4 months into a weight training program I never imagined I’d do. But, in order to change the body, you have to change your habits. This is what I tell my voice clients everyday.
But you can’t preach what you don’t know. Well, you can, but then you just sound hollow and boring after awhile. There’s no #truthjuice behind words without experience to back them.
I’ve witness several clients go through a fundamental shift in vocal function after approximately one year of doing organized voice exercises. Something in their bodies aligns in a new way, and they seem to have a new ground zero set point. In order to truly know what that feels like, I have to go through that process myself – at least that’s what seems logical.
“If love hasn’t won – if equality isn’t in place – then it just means our work isn’t done.”
-from writingsfromthecityline.com, Nov 10, 2016
Blogging everyday brings clarity. Not going to pretend daily blogging was my idea, so thank you Seth Godin for telegraphing the concept. I wanted to try it because I know interesting things happen when you commit to interesting projects.
What I did not expect was to find clarity so quickly about the core focus of this blog.
In light of this week’s presidential election results, something steely and vocal is rising inside me. It makes me feel strong, grounded, and it makes me want to speak [the f] up. I use a little language here, because this fiery feeling churns in my belly like a wild thing. It has taken up residence in my stomach and chest and won’t leave me alone. I feel emboldened and kinda fierce and way more focused than I did Tuesday morning. Way more focused.
As I was walking the dogs this morning, it hit me: this blog is a voice for love.
“Get a backbone,” he said. And it stung like hot needles in my eyeballs.
That statement reminds me of other intoxicating toxic sentiments such as:
- Stop being so sensitive.
- Toughen up.
- Don’t be so wimpy.
- Get over it.
- Don’t cry.
- and my all time fav – the mother of all mother’s – what’s wrong with you?
It’s been years since he said “get a backbone” to my face, and for lo’ these many years I’ve been upset about it. Maybe by the time I finish this post, I’ll finally make peace with the whole scenario. Time to let it go.
In the meantime, here’s what I’ve learned about this statement and statements like this: