With Open Hands, A Mantra For Living

by Guest Author
Michelle Markwart Deveaux

“There can be life and movement only when you no longer accept things as they are now, and look ahead toward that which is not yet.”
-Henry Nouwen

 

I have this habit of trying to control stuff. And of course, it’s always the stuff that I have no business controlling, like what other folks think of me.

I call this feeling the “Grasp Ghost”, for reasons that will come apparent in a bit.

This Grasp Ghost rears its ugly head most when I am trying to launch a new service or product for my voice students or voice teacher clients. It comes often when I am simultaneously working on a proposal for a workshop while telling my three year old to stop jumping on the coach.  The Grasp Ghost also likes to creep into client emails and try to make me defensive.

The good news is that I am familiar enough with this pattern that it does not shock or scare me anymore. It used to wreak havoc on my soul. It would throw me into a state of perfectionism and defensiveness. It would make me care more about my feelings than my actions, and make me forget that my primary joy is to solve the problems presented to me.

I now have a practice that I use to combat The Grasp Ghost. It’s a thought process and physical action that was deeply inspired by the late Henry Nouwen.

I shared it with Liz when we first met, and she asked that I tell you, her readers, about it too.

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